Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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