shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
