when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just threw up on my dentist
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
