And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
