Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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