I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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