you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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