He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
