did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
