I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
