I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
