I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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