it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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