Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
