Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
