omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
