Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize