no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What drink are we having for lunch?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
