Non-Jews are for practice
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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