so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
