Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
