Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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