At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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