So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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