There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
