i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
