he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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