they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
