What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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