I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
