East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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