I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
