i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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