I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize