im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
