Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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