do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
