this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
