I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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