it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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