honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I checked into jail on foursquare
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
