Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
