She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
