weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
