I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
