I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
