I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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