You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
