I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
