Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
