just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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