he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
