youre lurking in front of me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
