I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I party with great urgency now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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