I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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