Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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