Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
