Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
