My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
