the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he puts the penis in happiness.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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