fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
