How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
