TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
