i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
